1. |
The Winding Down Of Love
03:38
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The winding down of love
Sorry I wasn’t enough
To carry the burden
To help the hurt of what I put you through
The contours that frames all this empty space
Discreet meeting, secret handshakes, this was an honest mistake
I can’t look you in the eyes
Exhausted and scared and running out of excuses to provide
Run my fingers across your spine
Feel how your structure aligns
While I fall out of place at least 100 times a fucking day
Are you walls decorated like bricks?
Seems I never noticed until the day I saw the wallpaper separate
Place your shoulders against my chest
What will you love when there’s nothing left?
Haunted every single step
I hope you never rest
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2. |
Dying 2 Live
03:32
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I'm okay
I feel good
I'm not struggling
I listen to Forever by Diane & Marilyn
The Spring is coming
This Winter was a long one
But it wasn't draining
I'm easy, if aching
But what's a little ache to reinforce a feeling
It's comforting
This sentiment born of our undoing
So what are your expectations
What do you hope to find
What adjustments will you make to carve out a better life
You know I'm not unwilling to put everything into this
I don't feel like I'm dying
I'm only dying to live
Is this happiness
Is this empathy
Is this how it feels to be blessed with good company
Is it clarity
Does this benefit you as much as it does me
I'm the monument
She's the figurant
Were you born as this
The limp-wristed plagiarist
I must insist that, statistically, you're the least likely to come back to sanity
So what are you intentions
What do you hope to find
What are you doing these days to make the best of your time
This could be fulfilling if you put everything into it
Do you feel like you're dying
Or only dying to live
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3. |
Ruiner Too
03:24
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There are songs that I can’t listen to anymore
Like most of NOACF
There are places that I drive the long way around to avoid
I want you forget your house, name and number
I never knew
That you were a Ruiner, too
Every time you make me feel less alive
Walking backwards - a steady decline
When you crash your car again, I hope your only regret is that the first time around you remembered your seatbelt
Dead for days
I still count the ways
I feel numb but still feel everything
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4. |
Infinite You
03:22
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If this courage should crack then I'll keep on looking forward for a new way back
The worst has happened
I know you think you warned me when you told me
"Hell is empty and all the devils are here"
But I know you stole that
Infinite you
Finishing me
Make me senseless, regretful, anything
I've no mind to think of
I sing away the blues
For when the soft tongue breaks the bone
Forgotten former days and the trusty yellow haze
We broke it though
Now it's black and white at best
There's a memory of a ghost of a feeling of a notion of something more
This time I won't forget
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5. |
Wallflower
03:04
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Wallflower, won’t you wither?
I left you alone for most of the winter
The cold hits me differently
It sinks in my skin, refusing to leave
Do you still sleep alone?
Do you avoid certain roads on the drive home?
I’ve been lying in bed for weeks
Let my muscles atrophy
Turn off my phone
Pretending to sleep
I can’t forget the last words you said to me
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6. |
Sedative
04:02
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You said you swear by the sedatives
Is that what you meant
Because nobody mentioned this
Facing the day alone instead
Brace yourself
The fall is inevitable
Brace yourself
For something else
Take a deep breath
Hold it in
Feel your lungs recalibrate
A whiter shade of pale
The colour fading from your face
At least it's something else
Because nothing's not enough
You said you swore that you could forgive
Is that what you meant
Or is it now irrelevant
You're not bound by your past
Or who you were
No matter how uncomfortable
Brace yourself
The fall is inevitable
Take a deep breath
Hold it in
Feel your lungs recalibrate
A whiter shade of pale
The colour falling from your face
At least it's something else
Because nothing's not enough
You keep on keeping me away
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7. |
Invitation To Love
03:18
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I've been breathing in and breathing out
I've been living just to let you down
I didn't recognise you until you turned around
Living a two world daydream
Lodged between two realities
Your voice is breaking in the back room
Invitation to love under a dead moon
I would go home but I don't want to be alone
I don't know how to balance out the chemicals
Paint with my right hand
Guided by candle light
The warmth doesn't burn me
Cursed in eternity
Just you + I
Bodies intertwined
I would go home but I don't want to be alone
I don't know how to balance out the chemicals
Read my palms
Trace nails inside the lines
Predict how I'm going to die
Sometimes it's easier to hide
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8. |
Three Reasons
03:30
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I feel your name on my fingers
The keys keep me up
The screen glow
The long grow
The lost love
I roll over and I'm gone
I guess I didn't care that much
We avoid being two lovers losing
Regretful and skeletal
Your mother's been killing herself for years but she still comes to on the floor
The lies might have hurt but the truth hurt more
Three reasons
Because be real, I faltered
Three reasons
Because be real
-Don't repeat me
-Don't leave me
-Don't be me
I try to catch you eye
The first step to apologise
I feel embarrassed when I say I quite at 16
It's not like I was too far into it
It just wasn't for me
I liked to keep my head straight
Days were hard enough
I don't need another reason to not get up
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9. |
Honey Lens
03:42
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We used to drive around all night
When the moon was full
With the windows down
Your hand in my face
My hand in your hand
I hoped that we would stay like this forever
The first time
We walked to the water
You watched me bleed
Exsanguinate me
You left in the worst way
No goodbye and no apology
No explanation
Erase your existence
I never wanted to be held accountable
For the time we spent
Or the amount of
Pushing my pride aside
Admitting you were right
Don’t make me decide
The way you recite poetry
With your eyes closed
I’ll keep a part of me
Forever yours
Forever yours
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10. |
Termination Car Park
06:25
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In the termination car park the lights come on and it’s still dark
We’re feeling blue and there’s nothing much left to do but go home and break down
There were mistakes we later found out
Like that meeting at all was probably the wrong thing to do
You were insincere and I liked that
Shaking knees but steady hands
With just enough will in you to stand me
Or not
How sad
Never mind
I’m getting behind
-In small talk of the weather
-And whether or not we’re better off as strangers than together
So forget it now never mind
June came and June went
I’m not sure that it ever meant all that much to me
I just liked the sound and feel
Between J-U-YOU-N-E and ME
But I’ve been thinking lately I should probably change ‘you’s to ‘she’s
You were innocent and I liked that
Something soon lost in vain
And now the sight of you is something I can barely stand
So leave me
For now
Or don’t
Never mind
I’m getting behind
-In small talk of the weather
-And whether or not we’re better off as strangers than together
So forget it now never mind
You were insincere and I liked that
Shaking knees but steady hands
With just enough will in you to stand me
So believe me
Or don’t
How sad
Never mind
I’m getting behind
-In small talk of the weather
-And whether or not we’re better off as strangers than together
So forget it now never mind
I looked at you
You looked at me through tears
I looked at you
You looked at me
We shed our fears in secret
Every day we live with the fact
That we didn’t think ahead
And that just maybe
We could’ve done things differently
Every day we live with the fact
That we didn’t think ahead
And that just maybe the regrets weren’t worth it
We killed the baby
Every day we live with that
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11. |
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Exsanguinate me
You left in the worst way
No goodbye and no apology
No explanation
Erase your existence
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Bedbound By Summer Boston, UK
2013 - 2023
Kane Storr
Liam James Marsh
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